Running for my sanity.
29 Oct
Its been exactly 10 days since the marathon and I’ve only run twice. Last Wednesday I did a very slow 4 miles. There was some soreness in my hamstring that night, which I chalked up to residual soreness. Saturday, my running buddy and I decided to hit the greenbelt in Scottsdale since she hadn’t run there before. I was eager to show it to her. It’s one of my favorite running spots but I haven’t been there all summer since I’ve been doing long runs with TNT out in Mesa.
I was truly excited for that run Saturday morning. I popped out of bed easily. We met at 7 am and didn’t start running until we got to the path at around 7:30 am. That’s sleeping in after a summer of 5 am runs! As we started to run, I discovered my legs weren’t quite as enthusiastic as my mind. My legs were heavy and my right hamstring was speaking to me with every step. It felt like such a shame to have a crappy run on such a beautiful fall morning on one of my favorite paths. I was glad to have my running buddy there because I probably wouldn’t have made it without her. We ended up doing just over 9 miles at an average 9:25 pace.
I haven’t run since then. I figure if the hamstring needs time to heal, now is the time to let it happen. I didn’t have any pain in the marathon, but those 26.2 miles must have aggravated the muscle strain. If I keep running through the pain and it gets worse I’ll just have to take time off when PF Chang’s is even closer and it could really de-rail my training. PF Chang’s is just over 11 weeks away now (January 18). I don’t have a lot of time, but I do have some.
So it’s been four days since my last run. And guess what’s happening? I’m losing my mind!!
It happens every time I take some time off and I never expect it. I honestly think, this will be great! I’ll take some time off from running and I will have so more free time. I’ll be able make nice dinners for the hubby and keep the dishes from piling up in the sink and the laundry from taking over my bedroom. Then I’ll make that wedding photo album I’ve been meaning to work on, for like, oh 3 YEARS. I will become super wife, and oh won’t that be so GREAT?!
Funny thing is, no matter how much I believe that keeping up with the domestic duties will make my life better, it always seems to have the opposite affect. I can keep up with it for a while, but after a few days, I kind of feel like I’m not in charge of my own life. I lie in bed at night feeling like I didn’t do a single thing that I wanted to do all day. I think about what the next day holds and I see an exact repeat of the day before. My butt in chair for 9+ hours, my dry eyes staring at a computer screen.
I start to feel bitter towards everyone I know who has free time between the hours of 7:30 am and 6:30 pm. Especially now that those are those are the only hours it’s light outside and it’s cool again. Man, I would just LOVE to have a schedule where I didn’t have to be at work until 10 or 11 am. It doesn’t help that my office faces the canal where runners prance by all day long, taunting me with their freedom.
Sure I have these thoughts when I’m running 4x a week, but they don’t usually bring me down. I guess that’s why I run. Endorphins are my anti-depressant of choice. Not only that, but running gives me something to control when there are so many things that are beyond my control. Running makes my mundane life less mundane.
I’m trying a short run tonight to test out my hamstring. Cross your fingers that it goes ok. I really need to get back to running. I need to get out of this feeling sorry for myself funk. I’m sorry this post sounds so whiny. Hopefully by tomorrow I will be feeling more like my positive self.
