A Runner’s Balancing Act

Wow, has it really been over three weeks since my last entry? I’m sorry it has taken me so long to write this and I’m sorry I have been absent from commenting on all of your wonderful blogs. I assure you, once my life settles down hopefully I will find a regular time to comment and blog.

For now, my life is sort of crazy. I’m the sort of person that needs a predictable schedule, and I feel like my life has been turned upside down because nothing is predictable right now. I am still working for my former employer part time as a independent contractor. The first week after I was layed off I worked 24 hours there, the second week, 16, and this week about 12. I am waking up in the morning not knowing if I will be going into work or not. It’s really a strange feeling.

Funny the role that running has played in this situation. The first two weeks after I found out I was going to be laid off, I ran a lot. I craved it. I was emotional and worried and running soothed me. I was still in shock and unable to make decisions about my future. Running was the alternative to worrying.

So I am past that stage of shock now. We’ve made the decision to give freelancing a shot. Since I was still am getting some hours from my former employer, it seemed like a somewhat safe decision. We could survive on what I was making there until I am able to get my business up and running. But the hours at work seem to be dwindling and I am frantically trying to get everything up and running so I can promote myself.

So running has taking a back seat now, and I’m feeling anxious over that too. This week I have felt a bit like a college kid working on the big semester project. I’ve been out of bed before the crack of dawn pouring myself into my website not changing out of my pajamas all day. I’ve wanted to run, but it just doesn’t seem as important as getting that website up and running. I’m letting the housework and chores pile up while I’m barricade in my office.

And I go to bed at night and I think, tomorrow, I’m getting up and going for a run! I need it! The three letter F word starts creeping into my thoughts. No no! I can’t let that happen! By the morning, I am stressing about all I need to do and running seems less important. Morning is my most productive time, so I would rather devote it to my work. I put the run off until later in the day, but then I never go. It becomes less important, the more involved I get in my project. I’ve run a total of 18 miles this week (monday to today). After months of 35 to 45 miles per week, that’s a big dip!

So, Malinda and I went for a nice 9 miler yesterday on the greenbelt and I took a day off from building my website. It was much needed. After we finished running, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Ahhhhh. I am ME again.

So this morning I am up early again. Craving another good run like I had a few weeks ago. Looking forward to the streets being quiet, like I know they are on Sunday mornings. I’m ready to pound out some of my anxieties. I’m ready to feel my body working again. It’s the beginning of a new week and I’m ready to start it on the right foot.

I’m ready to feel like a runner again!

Thanks to my speedy cabbie, I actually made it to the park to meet the busses earlier than expected. It was a little after 5 am when my bus departed for the start line. As we drove over the freeway you could see that the exit ramp was completely jammed with cars. I was so glad that I had taken a cab and we’d come in to the park some other way and we didn’t get stuck in the traffic.  I’m sure if I had driven myself, we would have been stuck in that mess.

The bus ride was uneventful. I chatted it up with the guy sitting next to me who used to live in Phoenix. I’m not usually one to chat with strangers, but he started the conversation and I found it was a good way to keep my mind occupied.  When they let us off at the start line, I was relieved to see many, many porta-potties. They were all clean and I could take my pick!  After doing my business, I wandered around aimlessly trying not to get too cold since I did not have a jacket and the sun had not yet come up. I had over an hour to kill before the gun went off.

I ended up finding the Cabrillo National Monument which is a statue surrounded by a little circular patio out on the tip of Point Loma with almost 360 degree views of the ocean and the city. I sat there for a while with a few other runners and watched the sun come up over the ocean. How is it that I can watch the sunrise and the sun set over the ocean in San Diego? Explain that one to me.  I know it doesn’t seem possible, but I saw what I saw! As I watched the sun come up, I was aware of how clear it was. No marine layer whatsoever. Bummer.

After hanging out for about a half an hour. I headed back to the porta potties. This time I had to stand in line. I was surprised how many more people had arrived. When it finally got close to 7 am, there was some confusion as to where to go to line up. The race instructions said that the corrals wouldn’t open up until just before the gun since the start line was on the same road that the busses needed to come in on.  I just kind of stood in the crowd with everyone else until I felt the crowd move forward about 10 feet. I could see some flags with finish times up ahead that looked like corrals, but there was no way I could get there. I thought they would give us time to find our corrals, but within seconds I heard a gun go off and we were moving. So much for the corrals!

Needless to say, the first few miles there was a lot of weaving around slower people and trying to avoid getting run over by the faster people coming from behind. It finally seemed to spread out by the third mile. The first five miles were awesome. There were rolling hills, but many more down hills than up hills. We ran through neighborhoods and I kept myself occupied by admiring the homes and the incredibly lush landscaping and vegetation. There were lots of big trees that shaded the road which kept me pretty cool. I checked my watch at miles 1-5 and I was running about my 8:30 goal pace. I wanted to stay on pace so I skipped the water stops until mile 6. That might have been a mistake.

Mile six is when it started to get hard. The course flattened out and the trees went away. I got hot and sweaty very fast. At mile six I walked through my first water stop, gulping down two cups of water. I passed the 10k mark at about 53 minutes. After that, I was in a hurry to get the next water stop, which seemed much too far away. Finally got to it between mile seven and eight and by that time, I was really starting to feel crappy. I was just drenched in sweat. It kept running into my eyes and dripping off my elbows. I was really wishing I had brought a towel to wipe myself down with.  Between mile 7 and 8 I downed another two cups of water and took my Gu and two Endurolites (I had also taken two of these before the race started).

I surged a little after that (it was a surge in effort more than speed though), but mostly because I was promising myself that I could walk at the next water station, which again seemed much too far away. At this point we ran on a busy city street that only had one lane blocked off for the race. It was pretty packed in that one lane and I remember thinking that this is one of the more crowded races that I’ve run.  The sun was still relentlessly beating down on us, and I had to put my head down to keep from being blinded by it.  I cursed myself for not wearing my visor or putting on sunblock. I guess I was thinking there would be a marine layer. Wishful thinking that did not come true.

We finally turned the corner to start the final 2-3 miles towards the finish line. At first it was a welcome change. I was no longer running into the sun and there were tall buildings all around offering some shade. It was right after I turned the corner that someone was spraying a fire hose in the street. It felt good but since I was already drenched from sweat at this point it hardly made a difference. Then began the mile and a half climb that seemed to go straight up.

Here is the humbling part. I really thought I was pretty prepared for hills. I live in Fountain Hills and I have been running those hills at least once a week since I moved here last January.

In all my hill running, I don’t think I have run up a hill that steep for that long. Most of the hills I’ve run in practice are pretty steep but don’t last more than a half a mile at most. This hill seemed to go on forever.  We tuned a corner and it went up some more. Turned another corner and up again. Wow, does this ever end?! I admit, I walked a few times here when I really should have pushed through. I was so close to the end, and I could tell by my watch I was going to finish pretty close to 2 hours.  I think being really sweaty tricks my mind into thinking my body is working harder than it really is.

We finally turned into the park and with the hill behind me and the finish line less than a mile,  I started putting the pedal to the metal. My watch said I had about 2 minutes to get to the finish line before I hit 2 hours. I ran as fast as I could manage but in the end, it wasn’t enough and I crossed the finish line at about 2:01.  I was disappointed, but not surprised. I was just glad to be done!

Stay tuned for the Part 3, the conclusion!