On the Mend
11 Feb
I’m still on the mend from being sick over the past weekend. I’ve been feeling better during the day and able to finally breathe normally through my nose, but I am still very tired and mentally a little foggy. I have tried to write this post several times now but the energy to put the thought into it was just not there. I have run about 3 miles every evening since Monday and my endurance and speed are nearly non-existent. It’s frustrating to say the least, but I’m cutting myself some slack. I know it won’t be long until I’m back up to speed.
It looks like the Lost Dutchman Half Marathon this weekend is officially a no-go. I was going to wait and just register the morning of the race if I felt good enough, but I checked the website yesterday and it looks like the half marathon has sold out. I think that race must be getting more popular because I don’t remember that ever happening in year’s past. I’m pretty bummed, but at the same time, I was starting to think that I wasn’t going to be well enough to enjoy it anyways. Next year I guess.
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I was reading Aron’s “In My Head” post at Runners Rambles about the thoughts that bounce around in her head about training goals and races and being afraid to blog about it because it all sounds kinda crazy. I can TOTALLY relate. Right now I have a couple of kinda crazy thoughts rolling around in my head about running. I’m half afraid to state them here because there is a good chance I may not follow through.
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Ever since I read Lisa’s exciting race report over at Discovering the Meaning of Stonehenge (and congrats again to her for an amazing race and 3:57 finish!) I’ve been itching sign up for another full marathon. It’s been over a year now since I’ve run a full. Sheila and I have talked quite a bit about running the Rock N Roll Marathon in San Diego at the beginning of June. That would give us almost exactly 16 weeks to train – PERFECT! On top of that, this is the best time of year in this part of the country to train because the days are starting to get a little longer again (I won’t have to run in the dark quite as much) and of course, the temps are just fantastic.
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Aron directed me to the McMillian online calculator, where if you plug in my half marathon PR, you will see that the predicted finish time for a marathon is exactly 3:40… my Boston qualifying time. WOW. Could that actually be possible? When I ran my last full and set my 3:58 PR, it seemed like I could not possibly run any faster than that. But maybe I can with the right training program?! Aron ran a 3:40 and her half PR is nearly the same as mine. But then, do I really want to pick a training program that has me running 40-60 miles a week? I’m not sure if I cab handle that. Maybe if I just stick with consistent speed workouts and tempo runs, I can still BQ on a plan that peaks between 40 and 50 miles per week. The FIRST plan touts that IS possible with adequate cross training. Hmmmmmmmmm.
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Other things I’ve been pondering… I have no idea how difficult the San Diego course is. The website has yet to post a map or elevation profile. I’m wondering if the course is changing this year (it’s possible because they added a half marathon). I have heard from a few people that it’s not exactly flat. Another idea I had was trying to talk Lisa into running it with me and Sheila and aiming for 3:50 – a BQ for her (Lisa, don’t you love how I put this out there without talking to you first, its called peer pressure LOL). That idea is probably more realistic, more fun, and then I could try to hit 3:40 at the Tucson Marathon in December 2010.
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All these crazy crazy thoughts. And yet I do feel like I’m on the verge of committing to running the San Diego Rock n Roll, one way or another. I need something to look forward to… something positive to set my thoughts on. I’ve been spinning around with a lot of negative stuff lately and trying to get a handle on it. I loved Emilie’s post over at I Came To Run in which she talks about making your mind like Teflon, where you welcome the thoughts that come into your brain, but don’t allow them to stick. Instead, you let the thoughts slide off like they are hitting Teflon inside your brain. Ah, if only it were really that easy!
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Speaking of which, I have a question to ask all of you… completely unrelated to running, but it involves the thoughts I am trying to run from. Have you ever been through a situation where someone you really cared about cuts you out of their life completely and suddenly? I know most people have gone through a bad breakup or two in their lives. Up until this point I’ve been pretty lucky, mostly because I didn’t seriously date a lot of people before I met Joe. I saw plenty of my college roommates and friends go through horrible breakups and I saw how painful it was for them. I have recently cut ties with one of my closest friends and I am completely heartbroken. It was more her decision than mine, and its a complex situation I can’t really get into. It’s been two weeks since we severed the friendship, and I still am constantly thinking about it and very sad. I’m wondering, how long does it take for things to start feeling better? Any tips or tricks for getting though this time? I am totally inexperienced in dealing with this type of thing! Thanks guys!
Work is super slow today, so I have been catching up on my Google Reader! I think you should definitely sign up for San Diego… it might be kind of hot in June, but I don’t remember San Diego being ridiculously hilly.
In terms of a friend break-up: it’s like mourning. If it was a love-hate relationship, the first things you really lose are all those aspects that you love. After awhile, you learn to fill your time with other people, activities, hobbies… and you start to remember, perhaps, the more negative aspects of that relationship.
It’s hard to let go, but maybe it’ll be for the best? Good luck, and don’t be afraid to be sad! It’s always difficult to say goodbye.
Some of the greatest heartbreaks of my life, weren’t guys, but friends. Honestly, in some cases I think a severed friendship hurts worse.
If I am honest, which I try to be, I will say that over the last year I have been the one to cut ties with people. I feel like I grew into someone a few of my frieds did not know or want to get to know. At the same time, I realized how much growing in a different direction I had done and didn’t feel comfortable in the friendships any longer. In the last two years, I would say I cut ties with three close friends…one of them I considered my best friend for a long time. But she began treating me in a way that was unacceptable to me. And I finally was at a point in my life where I felt like I could really stick up for myself.
Do I miss these friends? Well, I did. At first. And sometimes I still do but not enough to wish things different at this point. I did mend ties with one of the girls, although mostly because we have many mutual friends. I do enjoy her company when we are together, but I wouldn’t go back to choosing her to hang out with.
I don’t know if any of this makes sense and I am sorry you are hurting. All I can say, is that like with men…you come to find out that in the end you survive.
Whew- sorry for the longest comment ever!
More and more these days it seems that races are selling out. I like to wait as long as possible just, but the big risk this year is the race selling out. Heck, Surf City sold out a month and a half before race day!
Hope you end up mending well. San Diego RnR? Cool!I’m running in a relay team this year. Should be fun!
I ran SD last year for “fun” – I have a race report on my blog about it. It definitely wasn’t my favorite race, but I know a lot of people really love it.
The plan I used maxed at 55 miles per week (well the first couple times I did it, then I did more last fall) but I think its TOTALLY doable on high 40s/low 50s. I think you have the speed, just gotta get the endurance and the confidence behind you
plus it may take a few tries – it took me 4 tries to get that BQ, but you gotta just go for the goal, see what works and what doesnt and try again if you miss it. The first time I tried it was only my 2nd marathon and my half PR was a 1:48 – I ended up running a 3:44 but know I was THAT close gave me a good boost.
Feel free to email me anytime about questions or thoughts or anything
The Rock ‘n’ Roll franchise is under new ownership, which also means this year there are big changes, including a half marathon and a relay team for the first time in San Diego. Not only that, it’s a new course because the old finish is under construction. Hope you convince yourself to do it.
And, I’m old enough to have been through such mysterious relationship severances more than once. It hurts, no doubt. And sometimes fences are mended over time. Be open to reconciliation, but don’t let the wound fester if it never happens.
wow… a lot in this post.
SD…I know they are changing the course, but I don’t think they’ll change it a lot. I heard rumors that it might end at Seaworld. There is a long, steady hill for several miles up the 163 freeway, which takes a lot out of you. Last year it was very humid and the year before it was hot. Pushing it to 3:50? Wow… that is a tall order. However, I am thinking of running it this year and would love to run it with you.
Thanks for the nice shout out! I am glad my enthusiasm for my race helped to get you excited for running another marathon.
You should look at Newport, Oregon for a BQ attempt. Could you be ready by May 3? I am going to try to get into St. George. That is a great BQ course and gorgeous, from what I have heard. It is in October. I know it is coming off HOT temps, but it might be a nice race to attempt your BQ.
About your friend… time is what helps. Also, whatever role she played in your life (confidante, party friend, lunch at work etc.) you might want to try to find someone else to fill that void. My friend had a falling out with her friend. They had eaten lunch together every day. Once she started having lunch with me, the pain subsided a little.
I’m glad that you are feeling better now! Hopefully by now you are feeling perfect and back to running in full form. I can totally relate having to set some running goals to motivate you, to have something to look forward to, I’m in that place right now where I need to set myself some running goals.
And on the separation question… well I have been on that situation, but I don’t think I have any useful advice, don’t know any way to handle it other than wait until time washes away everything and you get used to your life without that person.
I believe I saw Glenn Jones post something about the RnR course map the other day on Twitter, that they have it up there now.
On the question you asked about separation, yes, I’ve had someone do that to me also, and it took a long time to get over. We had been friends for 20+ years. It still bothers me sometimes, but I realize she was being influenced by her husband at that time, and there was no way I could compete with whatever garbage he was telling her about me and my husband.
Sometimes relationships/friendships do run their course. It may not seem that way now but there was probably a reason for it to happen. It’ll become apparent eventually. (you know what they say about hindsight being 20/20 and all.)