Ready to feel like a runner.
5 Apr
Wow, has it really been over three weeks since my last entry? I’m sorry it has taken me so long to write this and I’m sorry I have been absent from commenting on all of your wonderful blogs. I assure you, once my life settles down hopefully I will find a regular time to comment and blog.
For now, my life is sort of crazy. I’m the sort of person that needs a predictable schedule, and I feel like my life has been turned upside down because nothing is predictable right now. I am still working for my former employer part time as a independent contractor. The first week after I was layed off I worked 24 hours there, the second week, 16, and this week about 12. I am waking up in the morning not knowing if I will be going into work or not. It’s really a strange feeling.
Funny the role that running has played in this situation. The first two weeks after I found out I was going to be laid off, I ran a lot. I craved it. I was emotional and worried and running soothed me. I was still in shock and unable to make decisions about my future. Running was the alternative to worrying.
So I am past that stage of shock now. We’ve made the decision to give freelancing a shot. Since I was still am getting some hours from my former employer, it seemed like a somewhat safe decision. We could survive on what I was making there until I am able to get my business up and running. But the hours at work seem to be dwindling and I am frantically trying to get everything up and running so I can promote myself.
So running has taking a back seat now, and I’m feeling anxious over that too. This week I have felt a bit like a college kid working on the big semester project. I’ve been out of bed before the crack of dawn pouring myself into my website not changing out of my pajamas all day. I’ve wanted to run, but it just doesn’t seem as important as getting that website up and running. I’m letting the housework and chores pile up while I’m barricade in my office.
And I go to bed at night and I think, tomorrow, I’m getting up and going for a run! I need it! The three letter F word starts creeping into my thoughts. No no! I can’t let that happen! By the morning, I am stressing about all I need to do and running seems less important. Morning is my most productive time, so I would rather devote it to my work. I put the run off until later in the day, but then I never go. It becomes less important, the more involved I get in my project. I’ve run a total of 18 miles this week (monday to today). After months of 35 to 45 miles per week, that’s a big dip!
So, Malinda and I went for a nice 9 miler yesterday on the greenbelt and I took a day off from building my website. It was much needed. After we finished running, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Ahhhhh. I am ME again.
So this morning I am up early again. Craving another good run like I had a few weeks ago. Looking forward to the streets being quiet, like I know they are on Sunday mornings. I’m ready to pound out some of my anxieties. I’m ready to feel my body working again. It’s the beginning of a new week and I’m ready to start it on the right foot.
I’m ready to feel like a runner again!
Glad you got in a longer run. Remember it’s “A Balancing Act”. Don’t forget your me time or you might burn out. I ran Sabino Canyon down in Tucson. If you are ever down there, it’s a great place to run.
Arizona Pat is right on with the “Balancing Act” reminder… you’re doing what you need to in order to get your life on track. I can totally empathize with feeling like the running time is slipping… and often times I kind of NEED it to clear my brain, but it’s hard to slip it in some days.
I wish you the best of luck during this transition. My thoughts are with you!
I cannot imagine the stress you are going through now. I know that you will get your business up and running, and it will be amazing. When life gets like that for me, I tell myself to just push through, kind if like when I am on a long run.:) I tell myself 1 more week! You can do it girl, You are in my thoughts and prayers!
Would you be interested in an easy 12 on Saturday morning?
It is definitely a stressful shift for you, but I’m glad to see that running is still making you feel better. Even getting a couple of miles in the morning before you get started will probably give you so much more energy for the rest of the day. Good luck with your new business!
Glad to hear you got a run in there. Make sure you are taking enough time to breathe and think!
Alissa, i’ve been meaning to write you and say, don’t worry about us, we’ll still be here and reading when things settle down for you. (and cheering for you too.) I’ve been laid off before so I know the kind of stress you are under (although i was never brave enough to try to strike it out on my own like you, you’re amazing!)
So just do what you need to do for yourself, and nothing more. It’ll work out. Things like job losses always turn out to be for the better, I’ve found. Yes, it’s scary, but it sounds like this could be a really good, really empowering time for you too.
Glad to hear you were able to squeeze a long-ish run in there, despite being so busy. Can I also just mention that I think it’s AMAZING that you’re striking out on your own . . . I pray that it brings you all kinds of happiness and fulfillment! Hang in there! We are all rooting for you!
I’m glad things are working out and that you have a project to work on, specially because it’s your own project. I’ve been wanting to go freelance for some time, I like to work for myself and my own projects, but it’s just not the right time for me to do that, yet. However I am really exited for you and hope things workout, send me a link to your site once is ready, I’d really like to check it out!!
Glad to hear that you’re still able to get in some runs during such a stressful time. Stay optimistic and I’m sure you’ll be ok.